About Best Kids Show Ever:
Mission Statement: For far too long, children's shows have been co-opted by sexually ambiguous, drug abusing, left wing liberals looking to corrupt our youth with loose morals and dangerous socialist thoughts. They teach subversive, submissive qualities such as love, sharing and kindness to others.

Well, we say enough of that!

If you want to raise pussies, you keep sending your kids to Sesame Street. If you want your child to KICK ASS, you sit him or her down in front of the Best Kids Show Ever!

In this post 9-11 world, it's about time that someone brings FAMILY VALUES back to television.

The Best Kids Show Ever was carefully developed by a group of right wing pundits and politicians who know what America, and your American children need. Together, with our corporate partners, you can rest assured that we will take back the children of America's minds.

Who we are:
We're a group of concerned VALUES ORIENTED parents and business leaders who realize that the only way to instill the proper teachings upon the children of AMERICA is to spread our message via our vast media resources. In addition to several other corporate sponsors, we are underwritten by a grant from THE GLOBALDOM CORPORATION, "we pay low so you can buy more."

What we offer you:
Watching our show, you can rest assured that your child's mind is in the hands of people who care, people who know how things Should Be and aren't afraid to stand up for What's Right, even when the rest of the world is wrong. Unlike those liberal public television shows, our shows don't teach corrupt values like independent thinking, and creativity.

Independent thinking is on par with treason. Creativity is just code for homosexual. If you have a homosexual or independant child, you have to admit, you've LOST CONTROL.

If there's one thing we know, it's CONTROL.

Our programming will teach your children how to conform into society like a perfect cog in a well oiled machine. We do this with an education based on our unchanging, unyielding, un-swayed by any evidence otherwise, core beliefs.

What we believe:
We believe it's better to row the boat than to rock it.
We believe the Morality Police ought to be literal.
We believe there is only room for ONE GOD and if you don't believe in OUR GOD, you will go straight to hell where you belong.
We believe everyone, regardless of belief, should be held to the laws and wisdom taught in the Holy Bible (except for the parts we don't agree with, especially some of those "love your enemies" and "do good to those that hate you" quotes. Sheesh, what liberal bullshit!).
We believe that you should always OBEY your government and NEVER question authority.
We believe every country poses or could pose a threat to us.
We believe that homosexuality is a Threat To Family and an Attack on Marriage.
We believe in Saying No To Drugs.
We believe in Saying Yes to Big Medicine and Alcohol and Tobacco.


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